In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
