Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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