the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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