I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
