I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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