Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
