watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
