dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
