boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
