Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
