He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
