I'm really into asian looking animals
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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