It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I forget how to act sober
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
