everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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