You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
