Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
