hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize