you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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