so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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