Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize