3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
