nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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