Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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