Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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