oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
