i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
