wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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