Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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