I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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