All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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