Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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