I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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