Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
