So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
