Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize