He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
