Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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