so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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