There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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