Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
