Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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