He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
