Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
