I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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