My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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