i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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