Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
