I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
