my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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