Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
