Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
