I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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