worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
