And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Shame - the story of my life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
