you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
