I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize