watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I believe in your delicious
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
