Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
