He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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