did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
