Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
